In a move that surprised no one, the Screaming Squirrels traded ice and roller defender to Chicago for future considerations. Gassert has only been with the team for a little more than a year, but it seemed like 10. In his first season, he helped the Squirrels win the 2009-10 ice championship. He then skated on the roller team, before rejoining the ice team for the first half of this season. Aside from playing defense, Gassert’s main role with the team was to ask who is bringing the beer.
Roller Squirrel Mark Tessar will replace Gassert on the roster. Also, Gassert’s brother, Wes Gassert, is expected to join the roller team, and eventually the ice team. Gassert will be joining former Squirrel Mike Bronson in the windy city, where they are expected to be bunking together.
In completely unrelated news, Scurvy traded Alicia Krawitz and a broken Alex Ovechkin hockey stick to Chicago for future considerations.
Gassert Stats
| Year | (Div) | GP | G | A | PTS | PP | SH | PIM |
| 2010/2011 | Ice | 8 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 8 |
| 2010 | Inline | 14 | 12 | 12 | 24 | 4 | 0 | 15 |
| 2009/2010 | Ice | 20 | 5 | 5 | 10 | 3 | 0 | 12 |